A is for...

I am a fraud... repeat FRAUD!!!

2006-12-09T15:33:00.000-08:00

As most of you will probably know, I am a sucker for Christmas; the season for me begins at the beginning of August and will not abate until the end of January. For those of you who drive past the aggressive carolers in early November, I'm sure that I've felt the sting of your empty pop can as you have lobed it into the back of my head from your moving vehicle. I start listening to Xmas music around the beginning of October, drink my favorite spiced tea on each one of the festive days, and secretly hope that Mrs. Claus will quite soon kick the bucket and open auditions will be held for her replacement... I would SO marry Santa.

It is with this penchant that I must make the following confession:

This year is my first year on my own, and I must clarify this to say that I have been with roommates in the past, but this is my first year with my own home and by myself where all of the Christmastical duties fall upon me. This being said I did enlist the help of an outdoorsy friend to help me go and cut my 'First On My Own Tree'. My tree was far from perfect, but the kind of far from perfect that exemplifies the joy that is Christmas... completely perfect on one side and totally 100% flat on the other which made him (the tree of course) perfect for my little apartment.

Here's the confession part. I killed him. I didn't know. It wasn't intentional. I killed him!!! I knew that I was supposed to water him, and there was water in him even when I had to take him down, but apparently there was far less water than he needed. I killed my 'First On My Own Tree'. :( When I finally removed him from the apartment every single one of his needles fell onto my floor and despite numerous vacuumings still they manage to remind me of my Xmas shortcomings by sticking to my socks every day... I killed him.

Well, I can't change the past and there was a bright spot in that near future... I went and purchased a new tree, this time from a stand in a parking lot, assuring myself that it would be ok because I was supporting the boy scouts at the same time. When I arrived a very slight and small boy of 8 approached in his little tobogan hat and asked if I knew what kind of tree I was looking for. I was feeling sensitive to this small boy and said that I wanted a cute tree and asked if he had any of those. Without any kind of blink or any kind of snobbery that I answered him like a little kid, the born salesman, said, "Yeah, we got lots of those... now does cute mean slender and layers, or tall and bushy? Now, have you given any thought as to what species of tree you were looking for? I'm partial to the nobles myself..."

Needless to say, I am now the proud waterer of my 'Second On My Own Tree' and gave a damn good tip above the asking price for it. I did cry a little for my first tree, but I think I am healing from my personal failure more and more every day. MERRY THANKWEENIKAS!!!!

(I was going to post pictures of the 'First On My Own Tree' with a before death and after death, but the picture tool is broken... to be added later)

Happy Halloween Week!

2006-10-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

Let the Great Thankweenikas begin!

HA! This time it is me!

2006-10-22T23:19:00.000-07:00

... So for the nth time I can happily report that I have internet at my home once again. For all of you who immediately thought- "Man, she must never pay her bills on time", I can only remind you that I have been moving around quite a bit lately (and always it seems) and this is now at my new residence. Moving on...

While scrolling weekly through the blogmunity, so aptly named by Brea, I often feel absolutely uncool.... everyone tells me about the rampages and I never get to find anything good on my own. Where did I hear about YouTube you ask? Howsoever did I discover Woot? How on earth did I even hear about the almighty blog? Answer: From people who were not me.

So, at this juncture with the holiday season approaching, I would like to give back to all of you who have so selflessly enriched my internet life...

www.43things.com: The website to let all of your friends (and strangers) encourage your goals.

Merry Thankweenikas!

3 Kinds of Awesome!

2006-09-09T15:09:00.000-07:00

tap tap There's No Place Like Home -tap tap There's No Place Like Home

2006-08-24T21:16:00.000-07:00

I am looking for a home - if anyone has one that they would like to give me or any info on the following that would be helpful:

1. a cheap apartment (very cheap)

2. a good roommate

3. a very rich old man who will love me for my potential and be willing to pay for all of my school debts while at the same time maintaining a very platonic love and not getting in any way remotely creepy toward me

4. a very rich old woman who will love me for my potential and be willing to pay for all of my school debts while at the same time maintaining a very platonic love and not getting in any way remotely creepy toward me

5. Dr. Will's personal phone number

6. Someone with a home who would be willing to rent a room for cheap

... If any of these things has randomly shown up on your porch this week in a bassinet with a "Please take care of me" tag blowing in the wind please let me know...

I Worry

2006-08-07T21:29:00.000-07:00

I know that God is good. I know all things will work out. I know that I'm supposed to have peace and that bogging my mind down with depressing things that I can't personally change is not only a waste of my time but drags me down and keeps me from being the woman God wants me to be - that discourse said...

I worry about street kids. I'm not talking about the grimy teenagers living under the Burnside Bridge who get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich once a year from the Metro Youth Group (although i worry about them too) - I'm talking about the street kids who spend their whole little lives striving to find any change on the street so they can sniff glue - the ones who travel in packs and take shifts at night watching over each other for when policemen come by to kill them in their sleep. (anyone who wants to feel shock at the world please rent Bus 174)

I worry about my ability to become desensitized - not just in relationship to street kids, but about everything. For example: Every day my grandmother mentions how her back and her hands hurt.... she mentions it several times. Now, despite the fact that I absolutely hate repetitiousness in stories and anecdotes I DO understand that her hands are not going to get better - I know that they hurt every day and I know that must be very hard for her to live with/deal with. However, on most days I don't care. I absolutely don't care that she's in pain and the only time I do care is when she won't stop talking about it because it inconveniences me..... I WANT TO STILL CARE! The worst part is that I can't stand when people do the same thing to me - "I'm sorry you're tired hearing about how much my job is killing my spirit but I still work there!"

I worry about the ozone layer. I want to know how they make gas from corn and I am angry that the car companies can supress the electric car because it will put them out of buisiness.

Today there was a news story on Britney Spears's thoughts on the possibility of time travel - Yes. Yes, there was.

Sunday Afternoons

2006-07-30T14:48:00.000-07:00

What's the Sunday afternoon movie that you only kind of like but seems to be the only thing on at least once every 3 weeks or so - so you end up watching it each and every time that it's on?

In Honor of My Return

2006-07-12T20:43:00.000-07:00

I would first like to say that this is a glorious and miraculous day on earth when the sustenance that is the internet returns to my home (and when breanna was born!). I apologize for my lengthy departure and appreciate those who have kept my faith alive by posting a comment each week about people who don't leave messages.... let me give you something new.

I heard of this wonderful thing this week and I absolutely had to share it with everyone. There was this article in Billboard magazine that basically states that the song that was number one on the day you turned 18 has a profound impact on the rest of your life. I have to admit that I fall into the symbolic/dramatic and am now currently relating my song into every aspect of my day from helping me decide what to eat for breakfast to thinking it's kismet that there's a new lotion with the same title.

There is a UK song and a USA song

http://www.thisdayinmusic.com/member/birthdayno1.php

I'll show you mine if you show me yours : )

Ring Ring

2006-04-02T19:21:00.000-07:00

What's the new rule for phone tag?

Do you call someone back when you see they've called and not left a message?

Pass the Pills Please

2006-03-17T09:39:00.000-08:00

So, I've practically decided that all of the issues that have cumulated in my life - that have left me with all of the baggage that I carry around now - cannot be resolved on my own. I mean, think about it. There are things that I've been trying to get over, but really instead all I've done is supress them until the next rotten thing happens and then I just add the new baggage to my list. I really really REALLY wish I was making enough money to afford a shrink because now I'm so used to the situations that I can't think of anything new or helpful about them.

So, even though OBVIOUSLY I'm not actually downing all of the aforepictured medications - I really want to be able to seek out new ways of dealing and healing all of my past wounds. Since I can't afford a shrink I've been asking a few friends of some other ways to help me. I really want to be able to heal spiritually as well - it's so difficult to reconcile faith after the fact, so I do want everything to be spiritually based. Does anyone have any ideas or any relate-able experiences? I know that it might be a touchy issue - and I'm not asking for any confessions - I really just want to be able to be happy and joyful in my life and I feel like these past experiences are weighing me down.

Help?

Politics and Politics

2006-03-13T06:19:00.000-08:00

For those of you who haven't heard - and the only reason you would have heard is because i would have told you - Central Church of Christ has decided to close it's doors. This is the first time I've been a member at a congregation that has made this decision - and it's startling how many people are tied up in un-christian attitudes and situations during this whole process. I have heard about several churches being broken over things like this, and I do admit that people at Central are really striving to make this as healthy as possible - the politics are, however, astounding. And it leads me to the question: why, if everyone is striving to have the mind of christ do such differences happen? I mean, I KNOW why - Satan, yadda yadda, inner sin, yadda yadda, but it is just so frustrating.

On the other side of politics, I think I've discovered that politics are interesting to me. I think I could see myself becoming an aide to a polititian. Can anyone else see that potential in me?- or is this like the time I wanted to be a horse when I grew up?

Comcastic My Asstic!

2006-03-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

This is a pity post. I would like to say that it wasn't, but honesty is such a rare quality in the world, why not promote more of it?

I only have dialup at my home and recently Comcast started offering cable internet in my area. Unfortunately the dawn of the Comcast age coincided with my new job at Charter (the other cable company that we don't have here). The repercussions of this were 2 fold: 1. I learned how exactly crappy Comcast is and am hesitant to become one of their customers and 2. I now have a job and must be wise with my money - a decision which calls me to question the validity of spending such an amount for internet. Despite all of these afflictions, the one truth at which I still so inevitably arrive is this: I CAN'T LIVE MY LIFE WITH ANY KIND OF QUALITY WITHOUT THE INTERNET!!!

can i get a woot woot?

singing ... my love has come along....

2006-02-10T12:24:00.000-08:00

Here's a haiku for all of those who matter to me. Hopefully this will be the beginning of fresh posts... sorry I've been such a slacker.

For a long time now,
I've been waiting just to see.
The Masters is mine.

THE RESULTS ARE IN!!!

2005-12-11T17:20:00.000-08:00

So, Numero Uno! The entire time my posts just listed a number of days left it was a counting down to the end of my dissertation.... no one got it... no doggie treats.

Numbero Dos! The Camera is (as you may have counted) MAX! This is perfectly poignant for the season considering that the Grinch's dog is named Max.... I didn't think of that before and thought it was a good Thankweenikas Coincidence.

Number 3... The altered quote at the end of the last post was from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.... again, doggietreatless.

Numero Shick razor..... my half-tushie paper was turned in Friday night at 6:30pm.... So, I am nervous about my grade, but it's in and over.

THE VOTE OFF!!!

2005-11-24T19:04:00.000-08:00

After carefully considering all the wonderful names that have been submitted the contestents have been narrowed down to 2 possible options.

#1: Max. This idea is brought to you by Charlotte who acurately read my feelings on the space nature of my camera and suggested the computer from the Flight of the Navigator (yes I own it on DVD). The down side to this suggestion is that Max from the movie has a funny voice and for a while goes haywire and acts stupidly - aka: this is not a pre-cursor for my camera that sounds at all good.

#2: Bastian. This morsel of a good idea came from the lovely Carrie Rude. This is a good choice because it's from the movie Neverending Story (do we sense a theme here?). HOWEVER! The potential danger lies in the fact that I would someday like to name my son Bastian... therefore, I don't want to tire the name out before it finds its proper place.

And now it's up to you, my public. I have decided on a complete blogocrasy (sp) and the entire name choice is now in your tender and too often swayed hands.

... you must choose, but choose wisely - while as the true name will bring you life, the false name will take it from you. (3 points to who ever gets where this altered quote comes from)

2005-11-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

This is my new camera. He arrives tomorrow in the mail. Applications for his name are now being accepted. Other items in my life that are named are Matthew and Hermes. Please note my name style and submit ideas accordingly.

2005-10-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

20 Days

2005-10-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

28 Days.

Multcolib - I Denounce You!!!!

2005-09-03T09:34:00.000-07:00

I am very disillusioned by the services at the Multnomah County Library and I am taking this week's post to denounce them. At first you think... "Ooooh! What a cool Library" which rapidly spirals into "You Son of a B....!". Let me outline the path I trod as my innocence was taken from me.

1. Yay! Multco (as I so fondly named it at the time) has an Inter-Library Loan system that's free to it's patrons. That is so helpful to me since I'm doing my dissertation and many of the sources I need are quite hard to find. Also, the ILL system is partially paid by the library (up to 10$ of the cost to get the book/article) and the rest I can pay if I really need the source. This amazing deal allows me to have 15 active requests out at one time???? YAY!!!

2. What do you mean all of my ILL requests were submitted, processed, sent to Midland, and then returned because I never came and got them - I never received an email saying that they were in (since I requested email notification). What do you mean it's automatically set to phone notification and I have to change that by calling this specific number that you never told me about before? What do you mean you can't re-submit the cancelled ILL requests? I have to spend 3 more hours at one of your claustrophobic terminals entering all of them again myself????

3. Yay! The ILL system notified me with email this time and my 7 sources all arrived!

4. BOOOO! What do you mean I can't renew any of the ILL books and I'm only allowed to have them for 7 days? Don't you understand that I'm doing research???

5. Yay! The books were helpful, but I was able to get them back to the library guilt free by their due dates.

6. Yay! I'm doing so much research that I now have a new list of sources to check out - I am working so hard!

7. WHAT THE HELL?!? THE ILL SYSTEM IS DOWN UNTIL SEPTEMBER 22?????!!!!!! EXPLETIVE! WHY ARE YOU UPDATING YOUR SYSTEM? SINCE YOU KNEW THAT IT WOULD BE DOWN WHY DIDN'T YOU AT LEAST POST THE DATES TO WARN PEOPLE?!?!

No other library that I have checked has an ILL system. As my innocence was once a free pink-cheeked youthful form it has now shriveled into a cynical being that spits at anyone who walks past - kinda like a camel. To all of you who were counting on the Multco ILL system - I mourn with you.

2005-08-27T13:26:00.000-07:00

This is the mode of writing that I have thus far undertaken in writing my masters dissertation. I would like to point out that because I have a specified due date for submission, this approach is going to get me nothing but heart ache and an F (in UK terms an 8).

So I need your help - all of you. Please post comments of reasons that I should get in gear or helpful things that you do to keep yourself motivated when no one is around to do it for you. Please do not be smug and/or use the "fire and brimstone" approach -- it will just make me stubborn and insolent and therefore be a deterrent rather than an aid.

HELP ME!!!!

singing Tag Team back again.....

2005-08-23T16:37:00.000-07:00

Good tags everybody - +5 for all. Here's my list of the top ten songs that I am currently listening to. (please note that the songs are slightly *ahem* skewed at this time.)

1. Time is Running Out - Muse (Absolution)
This song is seriously quite good. Despite the fact that Muse is popular and most of my friends are anti-them, I have to come clean and confess that I adore this song.

2. The Ballroom of Romance - Chris De Burgh (Into the Light)
My 80's guilty pleasure. I don't have to justify myself to anyone.

3. Life on Mars? - David Bowie (Several albums including the Life Aquatic Soundtrack)
David Bowie is just absolutely amazing. No matter how many times I hear this song it still makes something in my heart twinge (in a good way). That probably explains why I just keep listening to it and it will NEVER get old.

4. Such Great Heights - Iron and Wine (Garden State Soundtrack)
For those of you who didn't know I&W before the recent movie soundtrack stint, this song is also on an M&M's commercial. Peace + Achy + Tears + Honey = This song.

5. The State I Am In - Belle and Sebastian (Tigermilk)
I refuse to explain it.

6. This Year's Love - David Gray (White Ladder)
Are we sensing a theme? The best feature of the song is the piano - again, it should be completely monotonous but instead seems to mold itself to your heart beat and instead becomes soothing -- the same principle behind continually rocking a baby.

7. Mr. Brightside - The Killers (Hot Fuss)
Am I pissed off about a crappy situation?- Yes. Am I tormented and just need a second to vent?- Yes. Am I better than every other song of this genre because I offer a semi-hopeful outlook on the future and a much better beat?- Yes and Yes.

8. Left and Leaving
8.5 Pamphleteer - The Weakerthans (Left and Leaving)
In my housesitting adventures the absolutely best part is being able to raid other computers and build my music library. I heard The Weakerthans about a week ago and immediately bought their cd's. These two songs are the ones that have impacted me the most so far.

9. Amanda - the way it is (It's Somebody's Fault, But Not Mine)
I have been uncommonly blessed with songs written about me... I am such a STAR! This one is my favorite due to its wonderful sappy sweetness. I'm also digging the idea of Min Amanda Var Fra Kerteminde - but since itunes music stores are country specific the music of Denmark is currently unavailable for download.

10. A Pretty Girl is Like...
10. Come Back From San Francisco
10. Reno Dakota - The Magnetic Fields (69 Love Songs Vol. 1-3)
There are 3 cd's and all of them are wonderful. I'm counting them as number 10 because I constantly listen to the band... these are my 3 faves though.

duck..... duck...... duck....... GOOSE!!!

I tag Niki and Shauna...

This is not the last year of my life - It's just a tribute

2005-08-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

Bangers and Mash
Marks and Spencer
Marks and Spencer Mini Flapjack Bites
Devon Scones
The Belmont
Nachos at the Vue
Luke Bartosik

Wine
Ninja Burger
Phil
David Hewitt's Nose and Ear Hair
Arg!
Blackwells
The Librarians (Evil Monsters) at the QML
Seaton Park
Erik Hillskemper wearing hair gel
Liquid
Contact Solution that costs 15$
Glasgow
The largest Planetarium in the UK
Tribecca
The Castle at 8am
Forts
David Howie
David Howie - Wig
The Hillhead Snack Bar/Snack Lounge/Comp Area
THE HOLE!
Manhattan
Chips at 2am
Dot to Dot
The Girls of 203
The Helpful Boys Upstairs
OLAF!!!! TONY!!! JAMES!!! FABIAN!!! (Could we have any more personality?)
Multiplies
Richard's Hair
Public Transportation
Bus to Glasgow - 2 rude Italians?
The Embassador
Car Ride Thrills
Ainsley, Sally, Christina, Kimberly, Ali, et all
Dr. Ray's Stories
Zeste Fajitas - with Erik
The Cleaning Woman
Halloween Parties
Learning how to eat with Chopsticks
Ally C
The Balcony
Football
Andy
Computer lab printers (I didn't say it was my FAVORITES list)
Taylor Coffee Women - haircut and key day
Modernism class
Alex and Roland - El Presidente lol!
Luke's Futon
Frederick - The Pretty Sweedish Boy
Veronica Mars
HollyOaks
Makosi
Tetris Wars
Business Card Machine at ABZ
Hillhead Shop
Bon Accord Centre
Spar
Aveda
The Burn
Beary Rap - El Oso Peligroso
The Tunnel
Bunnies - The way Abby says it
John Lewis
The Pen Clicker
What the HELL is Genre!
Espionage
Olaf's Birthday
I am FLOD!
Ben and Jerry's
Dish Wars
Blonde
Bruno and Layla

and....

Philosophical Ducks

Insights - "My Roominess"

2005-08-10T16:58:00.000-07:00

Thankfully all of this has changed and I have moved the large majority of my worldly possessions into my Grandparents' home. This move has taken up a large portion of my time in the last week or so as I get everything organized, put away, re-arranged, and purchase new items to complete "My Roominess". This is the insight that I am sharing. I have "My Roominess". Others may have a chakra or a chi or some other inner peace - my harmony quotient is "My Roominess".

Is my room clean? Are things organized? Is it cute? Does my room portray my inner being to others? Does my room make me feel safe and warm? The answers to these all important questions determine "My Roominess". The following picture is the layout of my new room at Gram & Gramps house:

As you may have already guessed from the mere oozing "Roominess" that comes across from the skewed diagram.... "My Roominess" is in a state of harmony at this time and therefore my own mood is good.

*SNAGGED!*

However, not everything involved in "Roominess" is easy... sometimes things can happen. Despite the Roomarmony I am still housesitting for another month and living out of my suitcase with the same 7 t-shirts that I've been wearing for the last month. You know the tees I'm referring to - you've seen them - you'll see them again. BLEH!

Not all insights must end happily. For now, dry your eyes and soothe your woes with the comfort of knowing that my room and I will someday become one.....

READ THIS IF: You're first impulse is to say "Hey Amanda. It's been a while."

2005-08-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

This post serves to fulfill anyone's time gaps or memory lapses regarding things that I have been doing in my life. This post is by NO MEANS designed to make anyone feel bad about not knowing about my life - in fact, I understand forgetfulness (I forgot to leave my keys at the auto shop this morning) especially in connection with semi-friends and their plans. (Click the title to see what kind of friend you are)

And in your defense I do move around a lot.

I graduated from Cascade in 2000. I moved to Lubbock, Texas in January of 2001. In the Fall I began AIM and served a year and a 1/2 in Mexico City. The girl in the picture is Carla and she has a 4-leaf-clover sticker on her forehead. (James, please note my hair is red)

After AIM I stayed in Portland for a year with the job and money making decision and such until I went to Grad School in Scotland. This is my walk to school through Seaton Park.

I am back in P-town right now (about to move in with my Grandparents) at least until my dissertation is completed at the end of October. After that I'm going to inherit 6 million dollars and travel the rest of my life. If that doesn't pan out then I may stay for a while. Or I might take off again.

In addition to being a snob I am also quite impulsive...

I am a snob...

2005-08-03T18:29:00.000-07:00

Please don't be mad or think less of me....

I don't like old things (not as in antique, but as in OLD) that need to be replaced. I don't like old couches or old dishes, drinking glasses, pots and pans..... that are tired and just want to go to a more needy family as I buy new ones.

I clean my items that are dirty so they look new again. Fan, Plastic Storage Containers, Hairdryer, Curling Iron.

I AM SUCH A PRODUCT OF MY GENERATION!

am I going to hell?...

Serious/Fun Question of the Week

2005-07-30T22:27:00.000-07:00

How many people did you seriously date/love/envision yourself with before you found "THE ONE"? Those of you who are still searching, how many have you (see above and add 'd's) and are still searching. Please keep in mind this does not count crushes.

Once and For All - I must know

2005-07-28T12:08:00.000-07:00

------------------------- OR ----------------------------

iRule: Apple's new line of school supplies

2005-07-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

I realized this morning, as I was sitting here with my hashbrowns, perfectly moist (sorry Brea) scrambled eggs, and tea while pouring over my BOP to bask in my one day self-pleased and arrogant magnificence, that there was a serious issue threatening my coolness. I am taking today's precious post to rectify any misunderstandings that have/will occurred/occur.

It started about two months ago while walking around downtown Aberdeen. My friend and I had been talking about iPods and more specifically iTrip - the iPod accessory. Just prior to this we had been discussing teenage boys and their unfortunate affliction/struggle *ahem* prior to marriage. Needless to say, I am the kind of person who connects random discussion topics and I then came up with i...... - the Christian teenage boy's iPod accessory that allows them to charge their iPods and de-charge themselves.

Yes... I did tell that story the nicest way possible.

The next instance of such a joke occurred at the former residence of one Breanna during a heated game of scrabble. During the last crucial minutes of the game, and with no possible options of a good word, I laid down "iQuit" - Apple's new version of the nicotine patch. The word was funny enough to stand and to give me over 25 points.

Here's where the possible - and very small and unimportant - misunderstanding gets rectified. I can smell your iAnticipation (Apple and BandBWorks joint line of fragrances)

Any usages, therefore, of i_____ on my BOP (point of example the title of this post) are infact simply a phase of apple jokes and the beginning 'i' in no way refers to myself. Nor am I arrogant (point of example the title of this post).

Thankyou.

For Those Who Know...

2005-07-27T17:55:00.000-07:00

Raise your hand if you've heard that there are people who find power incredibly attractive - or - you are someone who thinks power is attractive. Until last night I had fallen into the first category. Just click the title.

Diesel Sweeties

2005-07-27T11:27:00.000-07:00

I had the good fortune yesterday to come across this website the other day - dieselsweeties.com. I highly recommend taking a glimpse although no one is allowed to purchase the pictured pirate tee. Anyone who does so must face my wrath. I'm being honest here. 80% of the time I am fine with people owning the same item as I do - HOWEVER - this does not apply to cute and indie t-shirts that I have taken the iTime to find. If you love me (and lets be honest... no one who doesn't love me would be reading my blog) you will refrain. Thankyou.

Could i BE more retarded?

2005-05-04T02:38:00.000-07:00

I am only setting up a blog, so that I may interact with my friend's blog. The word "blog" itself offends me as a usage for a web page/diary. It's just "bog" with an "l"... and sounds like the sound effect I use when I pretend like I'm puking.